8 Types of Toxic Friends - Excelle

Thursday, October 21, 2010

8 Types of Toxic Friends - Excelle

8 Types of Toxic Friends - Excelle

Associated Content

January 12, 2009

A "toxic friend" is defined as a friend who contaminates our social life with destructive or negative behavior. The top 8 toxic friend profiles can be found below, along with ways to handle each one.



1. The Bubble-Burster This friend is always there with bad news to counter any good news you might have. Getting married? She happens to have the average national divorce rates memorized. Also known as Debbie Downer or The Wet Blanket. This friend is unnecessary in all situations, but if immediate disposal is not an option, try limiting conversations with her, especially where news-sharing is concerned. Keep your happy news to yourself when she's around and it will magically stay happy.



2. The One-Upper

This friend likes to fancy herself well-rounded or an overachiever, but she mostly lives to make others feel inferior. Mention an upcoming trip to Aspen, and you'll soon learn about her family cabin there, not to mention her countless medals and trophies for skiing. The best thing to do with people like this is ignore them. They crave approval, expecting people to envy them, and nothing will slow their nauseating self-congratulations like ambivalence. No matter how impressive their stories are, keep reactions minimal and they'll stop finding the thrill in overshadowing you.



3. The Employer

You might as well be on this friend's payroll for all the wingwoman duties you perform. You break up with guys for her, never outdress her, and even carry on obligatory conversations with a guy so she can chat up his hot friend. Playing second fiddle is never fun and can cause serious damage to your self-esteem. Relationships like these are draining and she'll just have to survive without you for a weekend. You have other friends, don't you? Call them. She'll likely be threatened, but this is because she is insecure. You don't need her permission.



4. The Predator

Never leave a boyfriend, boss, or even new friend alone with this social life stealer. The Predator just cannot help wanting what others have and cannot be trusted with the special people in your life. Introduce her to your new man and before you know it, she's sitting a little too close. Made a new friend? Keep them apart or she'll be punching their numbers into her phone. Don't even think about letting her meet your boss: she'll be strolling the halls of your office in no time...and hogging the boss's attention! If you have one of these bandits in your life, treat your social life like an expensive car in a bad neighborhood...locked up tight!



5. The Bodyguard

Whether its a guy hitting on you, a new friendship, or even an established relationship, this friend just doesn't think you're qualified to properly judge human character. She constantly feels the need to "protect" you from bad relationships, but ironically, she's the one you need protection from. Let her know that you can pick your own friendships and relationships. While you might appreciate that she has your back, remember that she's not just blocking bad relationships...you could be missing out on a lot!



6. The Charity Case

This friend is always down on her luck and can't seem to catch a break. Whenever you think you can't take another second of her and you're ready to hit the road, she needs another favor or shoulder to whine on and you're trapped until the incident blows over. Performing your own damage control will require fighting a little fire with fire. When she calls with a favor to ask, say you're down on your luck, too. It's highly unlikely that she'll try to repay the kindness you've shown her. The Charity Case is a taker, not a giver, and she'll likely fade away in search of a new knight in shining armor...and you'll be off the hook.



7. The Train Wreck

You know you should look away, but there is something about this dramatic friend that has you hooked. She's either in legal, financial, or social trouble (drinking/drug problems, spending addictions, and abusive relationships are the most common scenarios) and it's completely, 100% her fault. People offer their help and advice everyday but she doesn't want to hear it. With such a resistant attitude, her life is be mostly private and she kindly keeps you out of her problems, right? Wrong. In fact, you always seem to be bailing her out. Even though your opinions and perspectives are not welcome, she has no problem keeping you on the phone until 3a.m. while she complains about her problems. It might be hard, especially since you obviously care about this friend, but the intervention must stop. Once she falls on her ass, there will be nothing left for her to do but get up. That's when you can start helping again.



8. The Houdini

You haven't seen this friend in a little while...and the worst part is that you don't know why. You thought things were great, the bond was strong, and you were inseperable for a little while. Suddenly, she's not calling anymore and you're seeing her around with a different crowd. The problem is that you invested time and emotion in the relationship and her fairweather friendliness has left you feeling hurt and rejected. You're jealous of her new best friend and inevitably wonder what you didn't have to offer the relationship. Take comfort in this: that new best friend is going to be in your position in a few weeks and the Houdini will be sampling a new flavor. Commitment-phobes treat people like light bulbs because they are scared of getting rejected themselves. Meanwhile, you know how to treat a friend and will have plenty of them in your lifetime...now there's something to be jealous about!



Use this list wisely and refer to it everytime you begin to question a friendship. Remember, if none of your friends fit this criteria, but the relationship is still suffering, look over the list again. Could the toxic friend be you?